inspire. yourself.

It's been a while and I'm realizing that I have been waiting. For what, I don't know. Love. Inspiration. Something. But I now see that I'm putting too much responsibility in the hands of others to make me happy. 

It hit me like a ton of bricks while driving through the mountains yesterday. Call it a moment of clarity, but no one else gives a shit about me the way I do. And they probably never will. So when and why did I drop the ball on taking my life into my own hands?


It seems I have forgotten one important lesson. You have to do things even when you aren't inspired. You don't always get to choose. And while yes, sometimes we can be inspired by our dogs/cup of coffee/yoga/friends/romance/jobs, it's not up to them most of the time. It's up to you. It's the dishes theory- no one else will do them for you, no matter how much you ignore your kitchen.


So here I sit, in a park in Vancouver. Just like I do back home all of the time. And for the first time I don't feel lit up by this skyline the way I have every time before. Now the only thing left to do is generate the inspiration myself. Write. Photograph. Walk until it melts away. Put into practice what I know will help.


But if all else fails, what there is to do is be okay with wherever I am at. Because maybe it's just that I used up my quota of fun last weekend. And that is perfectly fine.