Balance both sides.

This month has been a whirlwind of experiences. 6 cities. 2 countries. 3 road trips. Many friends, old and new. Many photographs I never would have taken otherwise. I wouldn’t trade any of it for the world. But in this whirlwind, I have been woo’d by the experience of fun, and neglected the responsibility of everyday.

To me, humanity is a balance of things we enjoy versus those we do not. Every night of binge drinking comes with a hangover. Every spending spree comes with debt. As exciting as this month has been, there is a lot of laundry, bills and general responsibility for me to tend to now that it is over. I have spent most of tonight wishing that wasn’t the case, while also realizing I cannot avoid it any longer.

‘Fun’ is a core value of mine. But it’s a tricky one. It likes to convince me that it should always be running the show. What I’m learning over the last few months is that this ‘fun’ little devil is not good with responsibility. Part of my new project is to train myself when I can have fun, and when it’s not useful. Because clearly, I have not got it down pat yet.

A friend told me tonight that it takes more than just one experience to actually learn something. Yet I have been holding myself to a different standard. I feel like by this age I should have everything all worked out. I should be the grown up I imagined when I was a teenager thinking about what 29-year-olds must be like. On one hand it’s less pressure to know we don’t all have it figured out. On the other hand, I’m clear what it is I need to figure out yesterday. And this might just be the kick in the ass I needed to make it happen.

I’m starting to realize that we all just go through a series of growing pains and growth spurts. The pains are awful, but necessary for us to sprout up and become better versions of ourselves. My learning today is that writing grounds me no matter what. And it’s important that I take time to write both when I’m happy and when I need an outlet.  Because just like life, our passions must live out in the balance of ups and downs we experience, in order for them to stay part of us. There is no perfect life, but the passionate one is the one we all strive to live for, isn’t it?