Clean up the mess. Make the space for greatness to move in.

So I decided the other day. In order to create the space that my ‘vision me’ is supposed to move into on February 1st, I am taking January to clean up the mess I have created (both figuratively and literally speaking). Originally I thought this would mean the basic own up to your lack of integrity stuff. I was prepared to admit to broken promises, get closure on past relationships, work through my to-do list. What I didn’t expect is to find a whole other side of myself that I never really wanted to see.

I really don't want to, but now I have to admit it. I’m a low-to-moderate hoarder. No, no…let’s face it. I’m a total hoarder. What’s worse is I’m one who masks their hoarder-dom by organizing the things I will never get rid of into decorative baskets (labelled by a label maker cause that makes it ‘okay’). In short, I’m an OCD perfectionist hoarder. The worst kind. It's the kind of hoarder whose house looks well kept until you open the junk drawer/closet/room/whathaveyou and everything falls out. The amazing part is that as I shed this trait (since 'vision me' does not do this, obviously) I am learning a lot about myself.

Here’s what I found:

-          Remnants and neatly organized binders dedicated to past almost-careers like teaching and interior design.

-          Random specialty tools once seen on Martha Stewart that are almost useful if one actually remembers that they own such things when the right time comes to use it

-          Things that you think never expire…actually do expire. Like pickles, and ketchup, and bbq sauce, and specialty sauces from that month I decided I loved all asian food.

-          Margarine however, does not have an expiration date. Many strange random numbers printed on the package? Yes. But expiration date? No. This led me to a whole other thought pattern of how I will never eat margarine again…

-          I am a collector of many fruity liqueurs. Not to drink, because that would be sane. We're talking gifts and souveniers from trips with ex-boyfriends or friends up to a decade ago. Just waiting, chilled mind you, until the right friend came over who just LOVED watermelon liqueur.

Now the best part. Here’s what I THOUGHT when I found these things:

-          "I should save these for when I have kids!"

      Trap: Almost kept it, because kids are in my vision. But am I pregnant? No. Am I married and talking about kids? No. Am I even engaged? No. So to keep on a roll toward such stuff and stop looking like a lunatic that no one wants to have kids with, I gave it to my friends who actually have kids.

-          "What a great tool! I will use this the next time I…"

      Trap: Almost kept it, because it actually would have been useful last week when I… BUT! The problem is, I didn’t remember I had it then, and I won’t ever again. Trash!

-          I am never buying condiments again. Takeout packets only for this girl moving forward. AND NO MARGARINE.

-          Kept the liqueurs, but out of the refrigerator. Still feel like wasting them is a shame. Probably more work there.

I have never had a cleaner apartment, and it already seems easier to start being a new version of myself. I’m SO ready to start living this new vision…